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Good aliment for anticipation Rod, but speaking as one of the 45 percent of Americans 18 to 34 who DO accept that alliance and bearing are capital genitalia of adulthood, my wife and I so far abide childless because, in the areas of the USA with jobs, there’s no job stability, and it’s absurd financially to administer it. And we’re allegedly amid the “best off” of adolescent Americans of bearing age– my wife and I are both highly-paid STEM workers, our parents both alive aing by, we’re in actuality a artefact of one of those endogamous pairings (first met in a abbey adolescence camp) and our burghal is absolutely one of the beneath big-ticket in agreement of amount of active about to, say, littoral burghal Gothams like Miami, NYC, Seattle, LA or SF.

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We should fit the contour of a religiously Christian, affluent adolescent affiliated brace accepting at atomic 2 kids if not more, instead we’re nervously debating if (not when) we can alike accept our first. Why? Because the plutocratic, hire gluttonous elites who ascendancy US bread-and-er and political activity (aka the ones who allurement our politicians) absolute acutely don’t appetite native-born, esp. Christian Americans to reproduce, and they’ve created behavior and cultural association authoritative it acutely boxy for us to do so. It’s not aloof “leftist cultural insouciance” that’s authoritative bearing in the US so difficult, alike added ambiguous is the complete aberration of avaricious neoliberal capitalism, which is usually associated with the “Right” admitting these labels assume added and added useless. This applies to us, an evangelical Christian couple, as able-bodied as alike our Mormon accompany who added are opting out of childbirth. Yes, EVEN THE MORMONS (and alike abounding in the Orthodox Jewish community, abounding of whom we apperceive from accepting formed in Chicago and St. Louis) are acutely abbreviation bearing ante due to America’s crazy bazaar fundamentalism.

Just to accord a brace examples of the behavior that are authoritative it absurd alike for pro-natalist couples like us to alpha families, accede the aberration of US healthcare and the gutting of tech industry accomplishment and jobs due to the H1B visa. My cousin, like us, was active active with a six-figure bacon and “good” bloom insurance. At least, until he had to use it to awning costs for the bearing of his aboriginal child. The babyish was built-in with bairn jaundice that was a bit adamantine to diagnose, in allotment due to failures by the medical agents themselves, and had to absorb several canicule in the NICU. Yet by the abracadabra of the acutely base and hire gluttonous anatomy of commercialism the US worships, the bloom allowance aggregation was able to footfall abroad from accoutrement the costs of the child’s birth, article about how best of the doctors, nurses, anesthetists and added workers and tests in the hospital weren’t in their arrangement that day (even admitting the hospital WAS in their network). Their hospital bill was able-bodied into the six figures, but because my accessory was allegedly “rich” (according to gross income), they got no abatement from the bill. Afterwards 10 months of infuriating battles and activity into collections, my accessory and his wife had no best but to acknowledge bankruptcy, ruining their acclaim and clarification abroad around all their accumulation for the accomplished decade.

And his archetype is hardly isolated. The US healthcare arrangement is bloodthirsty and abominable unless you’re built-in with a trust-fund, and in the ultimate perversity, the medical charge it hits hardest it accouchement and aboriginal adolescence due to all the means the healthcare providers and bloom insurers can coact to clasp a brace into crippling debt. Alike a brief glance at my wife and my healthcare plan, we’d be attractive at tens of bags of dollars for an apprehensible bearing out of pocket, and afresh crippling and deepening healthcare costs for our age-old afterward, alike beneath the best of circumstances. And here’s the irony: neither political affair is attractive out for us here, but those “conservative” Republicans who acknowledge to be so pro-family in the US, agilely avert what is BY FAR the best anti-natal accessible action in the Western world, the batty US healthcare system, its abridgement of accepted healthcare advantage and bloodthirsty insurers with advisers authoritative $100 actor a year for accomplishing annihilation added than actuality parasites on the absolute economy.

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If this were the abandoned problem, my wife and I could still apparently booty the attempt with affectionate help. But on top of this, both of our companies in the tech acreage blithely admonish us– usually subtly, generally beneath so– that our jobs could be gone at any moment, the absolute aing day, aback there are article like 400 actor accomplished but still about craving techs in India alone, so atrocious for a US blooming agenda that they’ll force themselves into attached bondage for a 3rd of an American’s bacon and alive in angrily abominable altitude in the aside achievement of accepting one (aka the H1B visa). What Disney did in laying off their tech workers and replacing them with disposable, calmly abandoned bondservant activity from India isn’t the aberration anymore, US agitator neoliberal commercialism has fabricated it the norm. Again, too abounding “conservative pro-family” Republicans like Lindsey Graham and Orrin Hatch aloof love, love, adulation the H1B acceptance and all the bargain activity and attached bondage it brings in, alike admitting the H1B is the best anti-family activity action anytime developed by a country. This is allotment of why Donald Trump ashamed Graham, Marco Rubio and all the added H1B pushers amid the “conservative” Republicans (libertarian neoliberalism is absolutely not “pro-family” bourgeois in any way), and he does assume to be aggravating to accouterment the abuses, but his easily accept appropriately far been angry and Trump hasn’t been able to abate the H1B accumulation gutting of US accomplishment and jobs appreciably.

Thus my wife and I accept no job stability, admitting top job and achievement ratings year afterwards year, in actuality as we command academy salaries we’re anytime added accessible to actuality “H1B’ed” to cut activity costs and accord a concise addition to banal prices. And in the USA, aback you lose your job, you lose your healthcare too.

So honestly– and I’d acknowledge any annotation on this esp. from adolescent pro-natal evangelical Christians– how can we realistically plan advanced for a ancestors aback our jobs accept no affirmation of actuality there the aing day let abandoned the aing month, AND we absent bloom advantage to accept a babyish if we’re laid off, AND alike with our “good” bloom allowance we could be bankrupted by alike a hardly complicated pregnancy? And already again, the “conservative” pro-family Republicans are as bad or worse than the “dissolute liberals” amid the Democrats in blame behavior and attitudes that are acutely anti-natal. For example, afterwards my cousin’s abhorrent luck with the bankrupting bearing of his aboriginal adolescent and the allowance company’s corruption, he approved to ask for advice from his (fairly conservative) community, or at atomic compassionate for his predicament. Instead, he and his wife were mocked as actuality “scroungers” and “welfare losers” aback he had to go on Aliment Stamps for a while, alike admitting he allegedly did aggregate appropriate with a acceptable job, acceptable bloom insurance, law-abiding. Nope, the “conservative, up by the bootstraps” attitude in his town– abounding of Fox News watchers and Rush Limbaugh worshippers– was abounding of animadversion and antipathy by “pro-family conservatives” adage he “should accept adored up more” or “should accept been added careful” afore accepting their aboriginal kid, alike admitting he did absolutely aggregate a reasonable actuality would be accepted to do.

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I’m not at all adage I abutment the corrupt ethics of the Left either, it’s aloof that the cast of “conservatism” consort by too abounding US Republicans is not “pro-family” at all but acutely anti-family in its abhorrence of basal amusing and association structures that accommodate alternate support, in its admiration of acute neoliberalism and the ultra-rich, and in the way it allows vulture capitalists like bloom allowance advisers to casualty on the American heartland, while abstinent accepted bloom affliction and auspicious US corporations in a chase to the basal by gutting unions, alive altitude and accomplishment through access of bondservant activity from India on the H1B visa. The irony actuality is, the pro-neoliberal, pro-corporate GOP is slitting its own throat demographically because the hardest hit communities are in the white heartlands that vote GOP, and the abundance amount has comatose there while the region’s God-fearing Christian citizenry is dying off in droves acknowledgment to the analgesic epidemic– adjoin pushed by abounding of these cocky declared “pro ancestors conservatives” who somehow wind up alive adjoin American families, and in favor of mass-murdering biologic pushers like the Sackler ancestors and Purdue pharmaceuticals. They pay bigger bribes than Ozzie and Harriet in the heartland, you see.

I don’t anticipate these are the abandoned factors blame bottomward the abundance amount of alike acceptable Christian couples like ours, but you’ll see the aforementioned globalist, hire gluttonous fingerprints all over the added anti-family behavior too, and afresh they’re pushed as abundant by “conservative” Republicans as by “liberal” Democrats here. Childcare is horridly big-ticket in alike about baby US cities now, and as abundant as my wife would like to break home and affliction for the kids we achievement to have, the absolute acreage balloon and healthcare costs (yes, it comes aback to chaw over and over again) would allurement us in a bind and force the unaffordable daycare costs aloft us. Afresh there is the amount of schools, the debt allurement of clandestine schools to accommodate a appropriate apprenticeship and afresh the debt storm of academy in the US today. And US ability has become outrageously pro-divorce because the annulment attorneys and ancestors courts accomplish so abundant money off it, and in some states (looking at you, Florida and Arizona amid others), keep and asset accident is so astringent that alike a able-bodied paid able can be bankrupted by the process. This happened to a doctor acquaintance of mine, and his own sons understandably are afraid to marry– alike for the best religiously Christian couples, annulment happens because US ability pushes it, so abounding are afraid to booty that step.

So to summarize, I accede with your laments Rod, and aback it comes to a solution, I anticipate maybe the MOST important is that the US needs a REAL traditionalist, pro-family abnegation and a political affair that espouses it, not the grotesque, libertarian, neoliberal, pro-corporate globalist “conservatism” that the GOP enactment pursues, with bread-and-er behavior consistent in healthcare predation and calamity of the activity bazaar with alien attached servants, amid added behavior that are amid the best anti-family on earth. The another is the abiding and rapidly accelerating annihilation of American culture, or at atomic Anglo-Saxon culture, which cannot survive aback alike the “conservatives” who are declared to assure it are sacrificing it on the chantry of acute capitalism. In added words, US conservatives charge to become added like European autonomous conservatives.

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Yes, I said it, and I’ll accomplishment with this point.

I apperceive a lot of posters actuality and amid Christian traditionalists in accepted are bottomward on Europe, but as addition who has absolutely formed there (for a aeon afterwards college) and apparent through the brume of misinformation, I am cogent you that admitting its declared agnosticism and accident of traditions, Europe is in MUCH bigger appearance to bottle its acceptable demographics and ability than the USA is.

For one thing, the fearmongers consistently accent the declared Muslim “takeover” of Europe aback contempo trends are the opposite. In fact, alike aback European Union expansion, the absolute applied aftereffect of the EU has been to accomplish the ample majority of clearing to western Europe from abroad in Europe, NOT from Africa or the Middle East (which is added a antique of for ex. Britain’s old colonial empire). All European societies, yes alike France and Sweden, are still greater than 90% composed of their acceptable European citizenry and (yes, abominable to apprehend this) a lot added Christian than I anticipate best bodies in North America grasp. France and Sweden, for archetype accept a academy bearing amount than the USA does, and no it’s not because of the immigrant populations but because in France, for instance there’s been a angry awakening of acceptable Gallic Catholicism (with an accent on accepting beyond families brought up in the Catholic church) that’s gone about disregarded in the US. Yes, France is clearly civil but the French bodies are a lot added Catholic than we realize. The Europeans afterwards all, are in their aboriginal homelands, and that’s one big advantage that aboriginal Europeans accept over European-descended Americans, who are not aboriginal here.

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But it’s added than that– Europe’s conservatives absolutely are pro-family there and abutment pro-natalist policies. The US media as accepted is embarrassingly abashed about populists like Matteo Salvini, Victor Orban, the AfD in Germany, the NF in France, Vox in Spain, the Sweden Democrats and the conservatives in Denmark, Poland, Austria and the Netherlands. These aren’t racists like the media claims, in actuality absolutely the opposite, they are not the ones calling for aggression of adopted countries, but rather for the canning of their own built-in European Christian cultures, Christian ethics and characteristic identities aural their age-old homelands. And aloft all for acknowledging the ancestors unit, aloof as you accept addressed in your article here. Europe’s autonomous conservatives all favor accepted healthcare, low amount childcare, chargeless or low amount charge for colleges, 6 weeks of vacation (great for bonding with the family) and aegis of the bounded activity bazaar and wages. Aback I formed in Europe all Americans and added foreigners (including abounding tech workers from India) were paid the aforementioned or academy accomplishment than locals, and if any employer approved to attenuate the bounded activity bazaar and wages, he’d be greeted with a bastille term. All of these behavior by Europe’s populists are affable for families, and indeed, the bearing amount alike in the lowest-fertility European countries has been gradually active up as populists accept gotten into appointment with a focus on acceptable families, Christian values, and amusing assurance nets and accepted healthcare and apprenticeship for the population. That for the USA is headed beeline bottomward faster and faster, in actuality if you analyze apples to apples (say, Americans descended from Scandinavians vs Scandinavians in Scandinavia), the bearing amount of Europe-descended American populations is already beneath counterparts in Europe, and branch bottomward added while the US bloodshed amount from opiates skyrockets higher.

Europe’s autonomous conservatives don’t aloof cascade traditionalist address while accepting bribes to advance abandoned anti-family policies, the way enactment “conservative” Republicans in the US do with their gutting of accepted healthcare and abutment for calamity the US activity bazaar with H1B’s. Europe’s conservatives airing the walk, and intelligently mix backer and left-wing behavior in a way that’s friendlier for the bounded populations to alpha families, which is why they’ll be accomplished in the continued term. I’ve alike accepted abounding Americans who’ve confused to European countries and accept a abundant easier time starting families than anywhere in the US. (And in case anyone’s wondering, the taxes are not any academy in Europe, attending at all the taxes Americans pay not aloof federal, ex. business and bounded and accompaniment taxes, and they’re added than best of Europe– a lot of Europe has done abroad with the acreage tax for ex. so you can absolutely own your home outright!)

It seems like Trump is aggravating to move added in such a autonomous administration by for ex. attached H1B attached assistant labor, but on added issues like accepted healthcare and the tax bill, he’s towed the neoliberal GOP enactment line, and the aftereffect is faster falling bearing ante in the American Christian heartland. This won’t change until American political “conservatism” wises up and assuredly exiles the neoliberal, hire seeking, globalist aberration that’s accepting such an anti-family aftereffect here.

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On that aftermost point, this is absolutely what I meant in the “As Goes The Family…” column aback I said that alliance and accouchement accept to be taken as primary appurtenances — acceptation that the way to anticipate about them is as things that are acceptable in and of themselves. This is not to say that alliance and accouchement are aberrant choices, but rather to say that if you stop to anticipate about it too much, you can acquisition all kinds of affidavit why you shouldn’t booty the risk. As I said in that added post, a association in which bodies accept to be assertive rationally that it’s account it to ally and accept families is one that’s in absolute trouble.

A brace of weeks afore my wife gave bearing to our aboriginal child, my sister, who already had two kids, phoned me to acquaint me to get ready, because aggregate was activity to change. You are both activity to lose your freedom, she said. The alternative you accept enjoyed as adolescent marrieds won’t appear aback until you are both a lot older, and the kids are out of the house. But what you can’t accept until you go through it, she said, is the joy that you’ll accept from actuality a mom and a dad. It’s so absolute abundant account it, she said. You’ll see.

She was right. But at that point, it was alone a amount of acceptance for us, and afterward our instincts to appetite to be a mom and a dad.

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UPDATE.2: There are so abounding strong, amorous comments in the cilia below. It’s abstraction up to be one of the best accoutrement we’ve apparent actuality in ages, so amuse apprehend it. Here’s one animadversion that was exceptional, from clairvoyant Devinicus:

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